"My lusting almost destroyed me. I felt weak. I cold not compose "Jeux". I composed this ballet on the subject of lust. The ballet was not a success, because I did not feel it. I began it well, but then they started to hurrying me, and I never finished it. In that ballet you can see three young people feeling lust. I understood life at the age of twenty-two. i compose that ballet by myself. Diaghilev and Bakst helped me write down the subject of the ballet, because Debussy, the famous musical composer, insisted on having the story on paper. I asked Diaghilev to help me, and he and Bakst together wrote down my story on paper. I told Diaghilev my ideas. i know that Diaghilev likes saying they are his, because he likes praise. i am very pleased if Diaghilev says it is he who has thought up these stories, taht is, "The faun" and "jeux", for these ballets were composed by me under the influence of my life with Diaghilev. "the Faun" is me, and "jeux" is the kind of life Diaghilev dreamed of. Diaghilev wanted to have two boys. He often told me about this desire of his, but I showed him I was very angry. Diaghilev wanted to make love to two boys at the same time and wanted these boys to make love to him. The two boys are two young girls, and Diaghilev is the young man. I camouflage these personalities on purpose because I wanted people to feel disgust. I felt disgust and therefore could not finish that ballet. Debussy did not like Diaghilev's idea either, but eh was given 10,000 francs for that ballet, and therefore he had to finish it.............. "
The Diary of Vasav Nijinsky. On Death. Page 206-207
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