Nijinsky confesing how he musturbated.

"I want to describe my life as an artist. I was nervous because I had masturbated a lot. I masturbated because I saw many beautiful women who flirted. I luster after them and masturbated. I noticed that my hair started falling our. I noticed that my teeth began to rot. I noticed that I was nervous and began to dance worse. I took masturbating once every ten days. I thought that ten days was a necessary interval of time, that everyone should come once every ten days, for I heard older people say so. I was no more that nineteen years old when I started masturbating once every ten days. I liked lying in bed thinking about a woman, but I came afterward and decided to make myself the object of my lust. I looked at my own erect prick and felt lust. i did not like it, but I thought that "once I had started the machine running, I had to finish." I came quickly, with a feeling of a rush of blood to my head, i did not have a headache, but I felt pain in my temples. I now have a stomachache because I have eaten a lot, and I have the same kind of pain in my temples as when I used to masturbate. I did not masturbate much when I danced, because I realized it was death to my dancing. I started preserving my strength and therefore gave it up."

The Diary of vaslav nijinsky. On Death. page 205-206.

Nijinsky masturbator and his love for his mother and dance.

"I knew that Russian church services because I went to church every time. I liked going to church because I liked seeing the silver icons, which glittered. There were candles for sale, and sometimes I used to sell them together with Isayev, my companion in masturbation. I liked him, but felt that what he had taught me to do was a bad thing. I suffered when I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it every time I went to bed. Isayenko noticed that no one in school knew about my habits, and I therefore continued with them. I continued till I noticed that my dancing was beginning to deteriorate. I was scared because I realize that my mother would soon be ruined and I would not be to help her. I started combating my lust. I forced myself to do so. I said to myself, "I mustn't." I learned well. I gave up masturbation. I was about fifteen years old. I loved my mother, and my love for my mother made me improve. I learned well. Everyone began to notice me. I got top marks. My mother became happy. She often told me that the whacking had done me good. I told her that this was so, but I felt otherwise. I loved my mother infinitely. I decided to devote myself to dancing even more. I grew thin. I started to dance like God."

The Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky. On Life. Page 119.

Meat, masturbation and Gogol. Nijinsky's Diary.

"Meat is a terrible thing. I know that children who eat meat practice masturbation. I know that girl and boys practice masturbation. I know that women and men together and separately practice masturbation. Masturbation causes idiocy. People lose their feeling and their reason. I used to lose my reason when I practiced masturbation. My nerves were on edge. I used to tremble as if I had a fever. I had headaches. I was ill. I think that Gogol was a masturbator. I know that masturbation destroyed him. I know that Gogol was a rational man. I know that Gogol felt. His feeling became blunter day by day. He felt his death coming, because I do not want to practice masturbation. I was a great masturbator. I understood God badly and thought that he wished me well when I practiced masturbation. I know many women who cross their legs. Those women often practice masturbation."

The Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky. On Life. Page 133.


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